Perma-Bound Edition ©2007 | -- |
Suicide. Fiction.
Mental illness. Fiction.
Psychiatric hospitals. Fiction.
Interpersonal relations. Fiction.
Three teenagers who share a history of suicidal behavior meet in a psychiatric hospital. Reflecting on issues of sexual abuse, abortion, and homosexuality, their conversations and interior monologues weave back and forth amid the hundreds of terse but unremarkable poems that constitute this verse novel. The characters, though sympathetic, lack depth; the melodramatic plot, despite its shock-factor appeal, lacks tension.
Kirkus ReviewsIn sharp, searing free verse divided into two-page chapters, Hopkins sketches three adolescents who have just attempted suicide. Vanessa (razors), Tony (drugs) and Conner (gun) tried to "close out / the ugliness, close / out the filthiness, / close out all light." They begin treatment at Aspen Springs residential center in pits of numb despair, unhappy to have failed and lacking human connection. The therapists broach some psychological issues, but Aspen Springs is more behavioral than psychiatric, awarding levels of privilege for acts of progress. Each distinct first-person story slowly reveals its grim secrets, stinging from start to finish. The origins that the text identifies for Tony's sexuality prevent his being a standard-bearer for gayness in literature, but the three main characterizations ring true. There's a tiny place for love here, but readers familiar with Hopkins' Burned (2006) or with signs of serious depression will anticipate the tragic ending. A fast, jagged, hypnotic read. (Fiction. YA)
Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)Hopkins (<EMPHASIS TYPE=""ITALIC"">Crank) weaves together the story of three troubled teens locked up in a psychological facility after suicide attempts, once again writing in artful free verse. Each character is full-bodied and distinct. Conner is a wealthy overachiever who had an affair with a teacher; Tony, who thinks he is gay, was locked up in juvenile detention center for years after killing his mother's child-molesting boyfriend; Vanessa is a manic-depressive who cuts herself to "hush the demons/ shrieking inside my brain." All three have attempted suicide. As they begin to open up to their counselor—and each other—they reveal an almost unbelievable amount of grittiness in their backgrounds. Vanessa, for example, found her own mother dying after an overdose and did not call for an ambulance, and had a boyfriend who "wouldn't even hold/ my hand" while she was waiting to have an abortion. But readers will find themselves invested in the characters by the time the three head to their outdoor challenge—the final piece of their program—and can finally divulge their darkest secrets to one another (Tony and Vanessa even form an unexpected romance). This is a thick book, but the free verse makes for a fast read. By book's end, readers may well feel the effects of each protagonist's final choice. Ages 14-up.<EMPHASIS TYPE=""ITALIC""> (Jan.)
School Library JournalGr 9 Up-Three teens tell their stories, in free verse, from a psychiatric hospital after failed suicide attempts. Their lives unfold in alternating chapters, revealing emotionally scarred family relationships. An absent father, a bipolar mother, and a secret abortion have caused Vanessa to slash her wrists. As a compulsive cutter, she hides a paper clip to dig into her skin. Tony's drug overdose was triggered by an addiction in which he exchanged sex for money. Abused as a child, he is confused about his sexuality. Connor is the son of rich, controlling parents, and he survives a self-inflicted gunshot wound after a doomed affair with a female teacher. Initially, the narrators are inwardly focused, having arrived at "level zero," the beginning of their treatment. As they become acquainted with one another, the story, told in spare verse and colorful imagery, becomes more plot-driven and filled with witty dialogue. Both boys value Vanessa's friendship and there is an inkling of competition for her affection, although she assumes that Tony is gay. During a wilderness camping trip with other patients and staff, which would graduate the trio to the final level of treatment, it becomes apparent that one of them is mentally backsliding at the thought of returning home and has stopped taking meds. The consequences are played out, leaving the others to grapple with an additional loss and a newfound appreciation for life. Mature fans of the verse format will devour this hefty problem novel.-Vicki Reutter, Cazenovia High School, NY Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information.
Voice of Youth AdvocatesConnor shoots himself in the chest, Vanessa slices through the flesh on her wrist, and Tony downs a lethal combination of Valium and Jack Daniels. All three teens were thwarted in their suicide attempts by timely rescues and now find themselves residents of a mental health facility. Each one has a gritty, pain-filled backstory. Connor is a gorgeous overachiever with icy parents and a broken, illicit love affair. Tony, who believes himself to be gay because he has only had sex with men, was sent to a juvenile detention center at the age of eight. Vanessa is tormented by her mother's mental illness even as she finds herself plunging through the same desperate highs and lows. They form a triangle of friendship, with undertones of sexual attraction, that carries them through the various stages of their treatment programs, culminating with the outdoor hiking adventure called the Challenge. As in Hopkins's other novels, Crank (Simon & Schuster, 2004/VOYA February 2005) and Burned (Margaret K. McElderry/S & S, 2006/VOYA June 2006), this story is written in free verse, with each teen trading off as narrator. It is a very long book, despite much white space on each page. Hopkins does a good job of feeding the reader a steady stream of shocking revelations, but sometimes the detail drags against the drama. The classroom scenes, for example, read like unbidden political messages. It is also difficult to get a real sense of each teen's character beyond his or her life circumstances, because the narrative voice varies little from one teen to another. Nevertheless readers seeking an understanding of teen suicide will surely appreciate this penetrating exploration of the topic.-Diane Emge Colson.
Horn Book (Wed Aug 01 00:00:00 CDT 2007)
Kirkus Reviews
Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)
School Library Journal
Voice of Youth Advocates
Sometimes
you're traveling
a highway, the only road
you've ever known,
and wham! A semi
comes from nowhere
and rolls right over you.
Sometimes
you don't wake up.
But if you happen
to, you know things
will never be
the same.
Sometimes
that's not
so bad.
Sometimes
lives intersect,
no rhyme, no reason,
except, perhaps,
for a passing semi.
Triad
Three
separate highways
intersect at a place
no reasonable person
would ever want to go.
Three
lives that would have
been cut short, if not
for hasty interventions
by loved ones. Or Fate.
Three
people, with nothing
at all in common
except age, proximity,
and a wish to die.
Three
tapestries, tattered
at the edges and come
unwoven to reveal
a single mutual thread.
The Thread
Wish
you could turn off
the questions, turn
off the voices,
turn off all sound.
Yearn
to close out
the ugliness, close
out the filthiness,
close out all light.
Long
to cast away
yesterday, cast
away memory,
cast away all jeopardy.
Pray
you could somehow stop
the uncertainty, somehow
stop the loathing,
somehow stop the pain.
Conner
Arrival
The glass doors swing open,
in perfect sync, precisely
timed so you don't have
to think. Just stroll right in.
I doubt it's quite as easy
to turn around and walk
back outside, retreat to
unstable ground. Home turf.
An orderly escorts me down
spit-shined corridors, past
tinted Plexiglas and closed,
unmarked doors. Mysteries.
One foot in front of the other,
counting tiles on the floor so
I don't have to focus the blur
of painted smiles, fake faces.
A mannequin in a tight blue
suit, with a too-short skirt
(and legs that can wear it),
in a Betty Boop voice halts us.
I'm Dr. Boston. Welcome to
Aspen Springs. I'll give you
the tour. Paul, please take his
things to the Redwood Room.
Aspen Springs. Redwood Room.
As if this place were a five-star
resort, instead of a lockdown
where crazies pace. Waiting.
At Least
It doesn't have a hospital
stink. Oh yes, it's all very
clean, from cafeteria chairs
to the bathroom sink. Spotless.
But the clean comes minus
the gag-me smell, steeping
every inch of that antiseptic
hell where they excised
the damnable bullet. I
wonder what Dad said when
he heard I tried to put myself
six feet under -- and failed.
I should have put the gun
to my head, worried less
about brain damage, more
about getting dead. Finis.
Instead, I decided a shot
through the heart would
make it stop beating, rip
it apart to bleed me out.
I couldn't even do that
right. The bullet hit bone,
left my heart in one piece.
In hindsight, luck wasn't
with me that day. Mom
found me too soon, or my
pitiful life might have ebbed
to the ground in arterial flow.
I thought she might die too,
at the sight of so much blood
and the thought of it staining
her white Armani blouse.
Conner, what have you done?
she said.Tell me this was just
an accident.She never heard
my reply, never shed a tear.
I Don't Remember
Much after that, except
for speed. Ghostly red lights,
spinning faster and faster,
as I began to recede from
consciousness. Floating
through the ER doors,
frenzied motion. A needle's
sting. But I do remember,
just before the black hole
swallowed me, seeing Mom's
face. Her furious eyes
followed me down into sleep.
It's a curious place, the
Land of Blood Loss and
Anesthesia, floating through it
like swimming in sand. Taxing.
After a while, you think you
should reach for the shimmering
surface. You can't hold your
breath, and even if you could,
it's dark and deep and bitter
cold, where nightmares and truth
collide, and you wonder if death
could unfold fear so real. Palpable.
So you grope your way up into
the light, to find you can't
move, with your arms strapped
tight and overflowing tubes.
And everything hits you like
a train at full speed. Voices.
Strange faces. A witches' stewpot
of smells. Pain. Most of all,
pain.
Tony
Just Saw
A new guy check in. Tall,
built, with a way fine face,
and acting too tough to tumble.
He's a nutshell asking to crack.
Wonder if he's ever let a guy
touch that pumped-up bod.
They gave him the Redwood
Room. It's right across
from mine -- the Pacific
Room. Pretty peaceful in
here most of the time, long
as my meds are on time.
Ha. Get it? Most of the time
,if my meds are on time. If you
don't get it, you've never
been in a place like this,
never hung tough from one
med call till the next.
Wasted. That's the only way
to get by in this "treatment
center." Nice name for a loony
bin. Everyone in here is crazy
one way or another. Everyone.
Even the so-called doctors.
Most of 'em are druggies.
Fucking loser meth freaks.
I mean, if you're gonna
purposely lose your mind,
you want to get it back some
day. Don't you? Okay, maybe not.
I Lost My Mind
A long time ago, but it
wasn't exactly my idea.
Shit happens, as they say,
and my shit literally hit
the fan. But enough sappy
crap. We were talking drugs.
I won't tell you I never tried
crystal, but it really wasn't
my thing. I saw enough
people, all wound up, drop
over the edge, that I guess
I decided not to take that leap.
I always preferred creeping
into a giant, deep hole where
no bad feelings could follow.
At least till I had to come up
for air. I diddled with pot first, but
that tasty green weed couldn't drag
me low enough. Which mostly
left downers, "borrowed" from
medicine cabinets and kitchen
cabinets and nightstands.
Wherever I could find them.
And once in a while -- not often,
because it was pricey and tough
to score -- once in a while, I
tumbled way low, took a ride
on the H train. Oh yeah,
that's what I'm talking about.
A hot shot clear to hell.
Copyright © 2007 by Ellen Hopkins
Excerpted from Impulse by Ellen Hopkins
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
From the bestselling author of Crank, the story of three kids whose lives collide at a mental hospital after each attempts suicide.
Sometimes you don't wake up. But if you happen to, you know things will never be the same.
Three lives, three different paths to the same destination: Aspen Springs, a psychiatric hospital for those who have attempted the ultimate act—suicide.
Vanessa is beautiful and smart, but her secrets keep her answering the call of the blade.
Tony, after suffering a painful childhood, can only find peace through pills.
And Conner, outwardly, has the perfect life. But dig a little deeper and find a boy who is in constant battle with his parents, his life, himself.
In one instant each of these young people decided enough was enough. They grabbed the blade, the bottle, the gun—and tried to end it all. Now they have a second chance, and just maybe, with each other's help, they can find their way to a better life—but only if they're strong and can fight the demons that brought them here in the first place.