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| Publisher's Hardcover ©2017 | -- |
| Paperback ©2018 | -- |
Alchemists. Fiction.
Genius. Fiction.
Princes. Fiction.
Metamorphosis. Fiction.
Cats. Fiction.
Terry Pratchett meets Roald Dahl in this textured, tongue-in-cheek fairy tale. The bloodthirsty, bullying czar of the Petrossian Empire is disappointed in his six-year-old son, Alexander, who has no interest in crossbows, conquering countries, or cruelty. Happily, Alexander has two friends: Teresa, a kitchen serf and budding alchemist, and Pieter, a "mathemagician." The two are trying to create a potion intended for the czar, but Alexander gets it instead, which turns him into a tiny, fluffy ginger kitten. When Teresa and Pieter try to fix it, not only do they make Alexander gigantic (and still a cat) but they put themselves in grave danger. Happily, despite the peril, all manage to find their way to a somewhat happy ending. Gayton's narrative is deliciously arch, peppered with footnotes and elaborate explanations that seem to drift but are actually integral to the plot. The characters are true to their fairy-tale roles while still being distinct and well-rounded, and the twists and turns will keep the pages flipping. Kids who love riotous fantasy will get a kick out of this.
Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)Fantasy and fable intermingle in this whirling story set in the fictional Petrossian Empire, ruled by a bombastic czar with a -ceaseless appetite for conquering.- Disgusted that his six-year-old son, Alexander, lacks -bloodthirst- and -butchery- and instead has a -stubborn streak of
ALA Booklist (Fri Sep 01 00:00:00 CDT 2017)
Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)
1
Bad News at Breakfast
Bloom and Swoon and many a moon ago, in the lands beyond the Boreal Sea, there lived a mighty king who loved conquering. He conquered crowns and cities and countries. His name was the Czar.
Conquering was the Czar's favorite hobby. He practiced all the time, so he was really rather good at it. He could conquer a whole kingdom guarded by ten thousand soldiers using nothing but a tin whistle, a fishing rod, and a herd of reindeer.1
He was a terrifying beast of a man--broad as a bear, strong as an ox, clever as a pig, and hairy as a goat. His burgundy boots shone, his midnight cloak swished, and his Iron Crown sat slowly rusting on his head. He could crush coconuts with his hands and do push-ups with his mustache. He was simply the mightiest conqueror of all time. Everyone agreed. And if you didn't, the Czar would fight you until you changed your mind.
One bleak morn at the end of Dismember, the Czar woke late and sat down to conquer his huge breakfast of twelve ostrich eggs. He cracked the shells first, one by one. It was his favorite part. He liked imagining they were skulls.
He dipped all his buttered soldiers, gobbled them up, then called the butler and demanded toasted reinforcements.
The butler left to inform the cooks. After a while, the doors to the chamber crashed open. On a velvet cushion by his elbow, the Winter Palace poodle wagged his tail and sat up, as the maids marched up from the kitchens, carrying a whole new battalion of toast that was buttered on both sides.
"Down, Bloodbath," growled the Czar, jabbing the poodle with his fork. "My breakfast."
But the Czar and his poodle were surprised by another visitor along with the maids. It was one of the Czar's War Council. And he was carrying bad news.
Excerpted from His Royal Whiskers by Sam Gayton
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
A young alchemist and a giant cat stage a meow-tiny to take down an evil czar in this charming middle grade adventure.
Something bad has happened to Prince Alexander, the only heir to the mighty Petrossian Empire.
Something worse than kidnapping.
Something worse than murder.
Somehow, the Prince has been miraculously transformed into a fluffy kitten—and a large one, at that. Giant, in fact. Dinosaur-sized.
Why has this terrible catastrophe happened? Who are the boy and girl brewing secret potions down in the palace kitchens? And how are they possibly going to avoid getting their heads chopped off?