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| Perma-Bound Edition ©2018 | -- |
| Paperback ©2018 | -- |
Princesses. Juvenile fiction.
Knights and knighthood. Juvenile fiction.
Kindness. Juvenile fiction.
Princesses. Fiction.
Knights and knighthood. Fiction.
Kindness. Fiction.
Princess Pulverizer has been sent home from the School of Ladylike Manners again. This time it's for causing a pileup on the dance floor while daydreaming about becoming a knight. Her father finally agrees to let her train, on the condition that she first complete a Quest of Kindness to prove she possesses the knightly qualities of honor, kindness, and sacrifice. Princess Pulverizer accepts the challenge and sets out to perform eight acts of kindness, which proves harder than it sounds. Her first task leads her to a smelly ogre's castle to retrieve some stolen jewels, and while there, she is thrown into the company of Lucas (a runaway knight-in-training) and Dribble (a kind dragon who loves to cook). Only by working together can the trio escape with the jewels, teaching the princess a valuable lesson in teamwork. This spirited chapter book is an obvious choice for Princess in Black grads and Hamster Princess fans. Digital illustrations add more laughs to the princess' first adventure, which publishes simultaneously with her second, Worse, Worser, Wurst.
Horn Book (Wed Aug 01 00:00:00 CDT 2018)Princess Serena (a.k.a. "Princess Pulverizer") wants to be a knight, but her father says she first must complete a Quest of Kindness and perform eight good deeds to prove she's worthy of Knight School. Accompanied by a "lily-livered knight-in-training" and a "gassy, not-at-all-scary dragon," the princess embarks on punny adventures that turn the typical damsel-in-distress story on its head. Includes expressive, animated black-and-white art.
Kirkus ReviewsA tomboy princess wishes to become a knight.Don't call her Princess Serena—self-styled Princess Pulverizer is the Royal School of Ladylike Manners' pre-eminent troublemaker, and she would rather learn to fence than dance. She begs her kingly father to let her attend Knight School. The king—skeptical due to her temperament rather than her gender—will allow it only after she demonstrates knightly virtues. "Even she knew that honor, kindness, and sacrifice weren't exactly her strong points." He sends her on a Quest of Kindness, requiring eight good deeds (with proof—the king knows she would cheat if she could). After her first attempt at kindness is a comedic flop, Princess Pulverizer hears of a queen whose jewels have gone missing. She deduces that an ogre must be the culprit and sets off to retrieve the jewels by purposefully getting captured. Getting out isn't as easy as in, though. Cowardly Knight School dropout Lucas and his friend Dribble, a dragon ostracized because he'd rather cook grilled-cheese sandwiches than terrorize villages, attempt a rescue but with no success—the three outcasts must team up for a gassy escape solution. In the spot illustrations, animator Balistreri plays up the slapstick action and character expressiveness; Princess Pulverizer and her family appear to be white, while Lady Frump and other side characters are depicted with darker skin.A wacky adventure that stands out through highlighting its heroine's foibles, giving her plenty of room to grow in future installments. (Fantasy. 6-8)
Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)Born Serena, the rowdy princess of Empiria prefers a name that better suits her temperament: Princess Pulverizer. In this very funny series kickoff, Krulik tackles sexist double standards and plays with fantasy tropes as the princess attempts to become one of her father-s Knights of the Skround Table (-perfectly square, but with carefully rounded corners.
ALA Booklist
Horn Book (Wed Aug 01 00:00:00 CDT 2018)
Kirkus Reviews
Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)
"Princess Serena!" Lady Frump shouted angrily. "Come down from there right now! Princesses do not hang from the ceiling."
But the Royal Princess of Empiria was not ready to come down. She didn't want to sit at the table with her classmates, learning about the proper manners to use at a tea party. Who cared how you held your pinkie when you picked up your teacup? Tea parties were no fun at all.
But swinging from the rafters--now, that was fun!
The princess began swaying back and forth over the heads of the other girls in her class.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
She swung her legs higher and higher in the air.
"Wheeee!" the princess shouted down to her classmates. "You guys should really try this. It's amazing. I feel like I'm flying."
The girls stared up at her in surprise. No one disobeyed Lady Frump. Ever. She was the toughest, scariest teacher at the Royal School of Ladylike Manners.
But Lady Frump didn't frighten the princess at all. Nobody frightened her.
She was the bravest girl in all of Empiria.
Maybe even in the whole world.
So she just kept swinging.
Back and forth.
Back and . . .
"WHOA!" The princess let out a loud yelp as she lost her grip on the rafters.
SPLASH! The princess's royal bottom landed right in a big bowl of ooey-gooey purplish pomegranate pudding.
SMASH. Spoons, forks, knives, teacups, and saucers crashed to the floor. There was broken china everywhere.
The princess looked up at Lady Frump. The teacher's face was beet red. Her eyes were tightened into tiny angry slits. And she was clutching her handkerchief in a sweaty fist.
"Oops," the princess said sheepishly.
"Now look what you've done!" Lady Frump scolded. "Why didn't you come down carefully when I asked you to, Princess Serena?"
"Well, for one thing, that's not my name," the princess replied. "I've told you that a million times."
A few of the girls gasped.
"Serena is the name your father, King Alexander, gave you," Lady Frump reminded her.
"But it's not the right name for me," the princess explained. "Serena comes from the word serene. And serene means calm and peaceful. I'm neither of those."
Lady Frump couldn't argue with that.
Nobody could argue with that.
"That's why I gave myself a new name," the princess continued. "From now on, I want everyone to call me Princess Pulverizer."
"Princess Pulverizer is not a proper name for a royal girl," Lady Frump told her.
"Says who?" Princess Pulverizer argued.
"I . . . I . . . well . . . ," Lady Frump stammered.
The girls all stared at Princess Pulverizer in awe. She'd stumped Lady Frump. Amazing.
"Never mind," Lady Frump said, wiping her forehead with her handkerchief. "I will have two of the scullions from the kitchen come and clean up this mess later. And you, Princess Serena, will help them."
Princess Pulverizer gasped with surprise. She wasn't sure which was more shocking--the idea that her teacher would expect her to clean up the mess with the kitchen maids, or that she refused to call her by her new name.
"In the meantime, we will head into the ballroom to practice dancing the saltarello," Lady Frump continued. "I want all of you to be able to dance beautifully at the ball next month."
Princess Pulverizer frowned as she followed her classmates into the ballroom. The only thing worse than tea-party lessons was dance lessons.
Princess Pulverizer was not a great dancer.
She wasn't even a good dancer.
Actually, she was a lousy dancer.
To make matters worse, the ballroom was right above the courtyard where the boys in Knight School did their training. The boys looked like they were having so much fun, riding on their horses and having sword fights. And here she was, stuck moving her feet to the same beat, over and over again.
"Tap, tap, hop. Tap, tap, hop . . . ," Lady Frump repeated as she clapped her hands. "Ladies, please dance to the rhythm."
Princess Pulverizer looked out the window and watched as two of the knights-in-training drew swords. They began fencing, poking each other's armor with their weapons.
Clang. Clang. Every time one of the swords hit their metal suits, it made a loud noise that echoed all the way up to the ballroom.
Clip-clop. Clip-clop. Three other boys rode by on horseback. All of them--even the horses--were dressed in armor.
Princess Pulverizer scowled. It just wasn't fair.
Why did the boys get to wear full suits of armor and ride on horses, while she was stuck trying to hop around a dance floor in a silly lace gown?
And why did the boys get to wear those valiant visors when they fenced, while she was stuck having to balance a tiara on her head as she danced the saltarello? A visor had a purpose--it kept a knight safe. But what was the point of a tiara?
"Tap, tap, hop . . . Tap, tap, hop . . . ," Lady Frump continued. "Girls! Please pay attention. Tap, tap . . ."
Princess Pulverizer tap-tap-hopped her way over to the window for a better look at the two boys who were fencing. One of them was actually pretty good. He moved his feet quickly and was able to block most of the jabs that came from his opponent.
From Princess Pulverizer's point of view, fencing didn't look that hard. All you had to do was dance around a little and poke at someone with a sword.
A few lunges here.
A few steps backward there.
A poke.
A jab.
And maybe a little twirl--just to make it look fancy.
What was the big deal about fencing, anyway?
Lunge.
Step.
Poke.
Jab.
Twirl.
OOMF!
"Whoa!" Princess Pulverizer exclaimed as she bashed into one of the girls in her class.
Who crashed into the girl on her left.
Who knocked down the two girls on either side of her.
Who both collapsed right on top of Lady Frump.
"PRINCESS SERENA!" Lady Frump shouted angrily as she climbed out from under the pile of crowns, shoes, petticoats, arms, and legs. "What am I going to do with you?"
Princess Pulverizer looked down at the purplish pudding stain on her dress.
She stared at the wiggling mountain of classmates on the ground.
And for once, the princess had no answer for Lady Frump.
Excerpted from Grilled Cheese and Dragons by Nancy Krulik
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
Meet the princess who'd rather wear a suit of armor than a crown!
Princess Serena (or as she prefers, Princess Pulverizer) doesn't want to be a princess--she wants to be knight! But her father, King Alexander of Empiria, thinks she still has a lot to learn when it comes to exhibiting valiant behavior. So he presents a challenge: the princess must first go on a Quest of Kindness and perform good deeds to prove that she truly deserves to go to knight school. With help from a friendly dragon named Dribble and a perpetually terrified knight-in-training named Lucas, can she complete her quest and discover what it really takes to be a hero?