Publishers Weekly (Fri Oct 06 00:00:00 CDT 2023)

Raised by her white Baptist grandparents in Santa Fe, 16-year-old Johanna sometimes longs for younger guardians, like her friend Gabby-s energetic West Indian parents and her friend Leah-s warm Jewish mother. Johanna knows nothing about her own mom, whom she believes was killed in a car accident, until her estranged father, who pops suddenly back into her life via a letter, reveals that -there was a gun in the house. You were only a baby. You found it.- After Johanna absorbs the truth about having pulled the trigger at age two, her world reels out of control. The rage and guilt she feels intensify when rumors spread at school, and she becomes a victim of bullying, forced to navigate pain and humiliation. Though secondary characters (Johanna-s grand-

School Library Journal Starred Review (Mon Jun 01 00:00:00 CDT 2020)

Gr 9 Up-Johanna has lived with her grandparents since her mother died in a car accident when she was a toddler. Happy with her best friends, Gabby and Leah, and with a growing mutual attraction with newcomer Milo, Johanna leads the life of a typical teenager. Then the father who abandoned her long ago returns and reveals the shattering truth: When she was only three, Johanna came across a gun and accidentally killed her mother. Furious with the lie and devastated by her role in her mother's death, Johanna isn't prepared for the situation to get worse; then Gabby blurts out the story at school. Students on both sides of the gun safety issue clash, and when Johanna plans to paint a mural at school highlighting gun control, events and feelings spiral further out of hand. Ever-patient Milo struggles with Johanna's ferocious anger and grief, while Johanna must face hard truths about her father and begin a journey with her grandparents that could lead to healing. Richards deftly explores the myriad emotional struggles after an accidental gun death. Johanna is a compelling and unique character, and readers will empathize with the self-hatred she experiences. The growing relationship with Milo is sweetly evoked, and tempers the sobering themes. And while all the characters are richly delineated, the author stays true to the ravaged heart and soul of Johanna. In her impassioned voice, gun safety issues and statistics truly resonate. VERDICT Tragic, moving and genuine, this is a must for middle school and high school collections and should prove highly popular. Lee De Groft, Jamestown H.S., Williamsburg, VA

Kirkus Reviews

A teen unexpectedly faces the harsh realities of gun violence.Sixteen-year-old Johanna Carlson has spent her life yearning to know what her mother was like; the maternal grandparents who raised her won't discuss the daughter they lost. Johanna is resigned to live a quiet, stifling life in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with her besties, Gabby and Leah, and maybe shake things up with the cute new transfer student, Milo. When her estranged father writes asking to meet, she hesitantly accepts his offer. Her father brings years of memories and pictures to share, but he also reveals that the story of the car accident she thought her mother died in was a lie her grandparents told. The truth: As a toddler, Johanna found an unsecured, loaded handgun and accidentally shot her mother. With her world in a tailspin, Johanna must find a way to forgive the adults who have abandoned and lied to her but also, more importantly, herself. The first-person narrative moves along at a steady pace, offering readers the rarely heard perspective of a child who is both the cause and victim of gun violence while also covering social issues such as bullying and religion. Johanna is white, Gabby is black, and Leah is Jewish and bisexual.A valuable take on a timely issue. (Fiction. 14-18)

ALA Booklist (Mon Jun 01 00:00:00 CDT 2020)

Sixteen-year-old Johanna knows that being raised by your dead mom's parents isn't the norm, but after thirteen years, she's mostly over it. When she receives a letter from her estranged father asking to talk, she sees an opportunity to learn about her mom, whom her grandparents are frustratingly tight-lipped about. However, while she loves picking up new details, Johanna never expected to find that her mom didn't die in a car crash like her grandparents always claimed. When confronted with the truth at at two years old, Johanna found a loaded gun and shot her own mother r whole world falls apart. Richards tackles this tragic story with fierce honesty, and readers should be aware of depictions of panic attacks, cyberbullying, and illegal use of prescription drugs. Richards' characters are dynamic, sympathetic, and flawed. Though many of the dated cultural references require a quick internet search and some depictions of high school are a bit juvenile, when readers get into the trenches of Johanna's emotional journey, they'll be invested.

Horn Book

Ever since she was a toddler, Johanna has been raised by her maternal grandparents. They are caring and upstanding people, but they never talk about or share memories of their late daughter. Out of the blue, Johanna (a thriving teen, oblivious to her past) gets a letter from her estranged father, who wants to see her. Jo is thrilled to reconnect with her dad after thirteen years, even over her grandparents' objections, and to have access to information about her mother. What Jo didn't count on was the unspeakable truth about her mother's death: two-year-old Johanna pulling the trigger of her father's carelessly stored gun. What follows is a poignant account of a traumatized teen reexamining her identity and coming to grips with guilt, loss, and the betrayals and lies of the adults around her. Predictably, the lurid details of her early childhood come to light, and she is cruelly mocked and bullied at school, yet she is able to save her shattered sense of self and salvage her damaged relationships, at least the ones that matter. Debut author Richards captures the ongoing struggle and painful reality of such tragic events with raw honesty and compassion and affirms the healing power of love. Fans of realistic fiction and "ripped from the headlines" stories will find this a compelling read.