After her twin's death, a teen journals as an exercise in sorting out her grief, anxiety, and crushes on her two best friends.This debut is told mostly in epistolary form, mixing Casey Jones' letters with occasional verse as she writes down all the things she'll never get a chance to say to Sammy, her twin who died of an opioid overdose 17 months prior. Between the crushing weight of survivor's guilt and the crushes bisexual Casey has on both Benjamin Dean and Francesca Romero, the other members of the siblings' tightknit friend group, her anxiety is spiraling out of control and the already narrow gap between casual drug use and a dangerous addiction is shrinking. One fateful night, Ben kisses Casey; at the same party, Casey sees Frankie kissing another girl. She'll have to decide if honesty is really the best policy when you've got crushes on two of your friends at the same time. Though the slang used will soon feel dated, readers will appreciate getting to know a gritty, complicated protagonist who has a frank, matter-of-fact vibe about the darkness in her life. Casey is many things-fat, queer, a grieving sister, a surfer, and someone struggling with anxiety. Newbould also successfully normalizes consensual nonmonogamous relationships for teens. Frankie is Puerto Rican; other main characters read White.A forceful exploration of the complexities of love and loss. (content warning, resources) (Fiction. 14-18)