A Black teen born of sexual assault struggles to love herself.Richmond, Virginia, high school junior Michelle is struggling to write college admissions and scholarship essays that ask her to define herself. She can't help but fixate on the one aspect of her identity she keeps secret: At 15, her mom was raped, becoming pregnant with Michie. Despite assurances from her therapist, Grandma, best friend JoJo, and hot new basketball star Derek that she is good enough-not only worthy of love, but actually loved-Michie battles anxiety. She is convinced that if only her mom could fully embrace her, everything would be different and better. But when her mom reaches out after a decade of estrangement, Michie must decide if she is willing to see her, face her pain and fear head-on, and let go of all of the baggage from the past. Debut author Clarke delves into an intense, rarely explored subject with skill; touches of humor lighten the text. Michie's grief, self-hatred, and feelings of not being enough are presented in ways that show readers the full facets of her emotions and allow them to empathize with and relate to what she's going through. The inclusion of her mom's perspective, while short, is well written and reveals her to be not Michie's antagonist but a complicated person in her own right. JoJo has Persian ancestry, and Derek is Black and Mexican American.A compelling mix of romance and raw emotion. (Fiction. 12-18)

Black 17-year-old Michelle Cooper, who was born of sexual assault, struggles with her self-worth in the lead-up to adulthood in Clarke’s emotionally layered debut. Michie wants nothing more than to study English literature at Brown University, but every college essay feels like a request to detail her life trauma; moreover, Michie isn’t sure her complicated relationship with her estranged mother, therapy sessions for children of sexual abuse victims, and her panic attacks make her a prime university candidate. Then she meets 18-year-old Black and Mexican Derek de la Rosa, who moved from San Francisco to Richmond, Va., following a family death. Immediately smitten, Derek enlists Michie’s help with Spanish to get closer, but her self-doubt constantly sabotages their deepening relationship. When Michie’s mother reaches out for the first time since her seventh birthday, Michie must confront her self-loathing and unaddressed feelings of abandonment to forge ahead toward the future she both wants and deserves. Clarke artfully explores weighty topics such as trauma, grief, and abandonment using pensive narration, and mirthful dialogue provides levity. Michie’s encouraging support systems, healthy relationship with therapy, and heart-wrenching journey toward self-acceptance depicts a story overflowing with kindness and healing. Ages 13–up. Agent: Peter Knapp, Park & Fine Literary. (July)