Reviewed with Tea Benduhn's Gravel Queen .Gr. 9-12. In these novels about first love, a high-school girl falls hard for another girl and faces the complicated pain of coming out to family, friends, and to one's self. In Gravel Queen, the author's debut novel, Aurin explores her first gay relationship, and finds that her best friend, a glamorous, possessive drama queen, is jealous. Benduhn focus on Aurin's self-discovery and friendships, closing the novel before Aurin tells her family what's going on. In Keeping You a Secret, model high-school senior Holland, who has a boyfriend, develops an overwhelming crush on Cece. The girls fall passionately in love and a tragic coming-out story ensues. Holland finds herself homeless and alone, except for Cece and a new gay support system.Both novels, written in first-person, are filled with believable inner monologues and finely tuned contemporary dialogue. Benduhn includes some interesting cinematic references related to Aurin's filmmaking aspirations, but some of her descriptions are over-the-top. Peters' story and characters are more developed. Both books are romantic and layered, and many teens, particularly those with fluid sexual identities, will recognize the questions: Do you have to kiss someone to be gay? What do fantasies mean?

Holland is already taxed, especially by her overbearing mother, when she finds herself attracted to a girl for the first time. The novel's wooing period is too drawn out, and the out-and-proud Cece's motivation for concealing her relationship with Holland is unconvincing. Peters's characters are well drawn, however; their humor rings true, and the portrait of parental homophobia and Holland's ensuing homelessness seem heartbreakingly realistic.

Holland's life is directed by those around her, her Mom, boyfriend, even her school's career counselor. Discovering she's attracted to the new, out-and-proud lesbian is not on anyone's agenda, however. Not that all has been smooth for this student-body president, busy with job, swim team, and school. Sex with boyfriend Seth is a take-it-or-leave-it deal, but when Cece's presence begins to cause an emotional reaction, Holland is stunned. Gradually the two girls become a couple; Cece pleads for secrecy and Holland acquiesces. The reason for the secrecy is slightly unconvincing, but Peters keeps the action flowing as Mom throws Holland out when she discovers what she's up to, and Holland discovers more resources in herself than she ever imagined. Holland's experiences will inform readers who are also discovering their sexual identity. Gay or straight, they'll identify with the excitement that accompanies that first love affair. At the heart is the realization that secrecy can damage many relationships, no matter the connection. Revealing. (Fiction. YA)

Gr 9 Up-Holland Jaeger goes steady with a good-looking boy and contemplates attending an Ivy League college in the fall. Then she meets "out-and-proud" lesbian Cece Goddard, and her life changes. Within a matter of weeks, the two begin an affair that eventually leads to a committed relationship. Holland loses old friends, encounters vicious discrimination, and is thrown out of the house by her hysterical mother. She finds help at the local Gay Resource Center, however, and begins to look forward to attending a local college after high school, with Cece by her side. Peters knows how to tell an intriguing story. However, while both teens are likable, believable characters, the confidence with which Cece proudly proclaims her sexual orientation at school strains credibility. This aside, the antigay slurs, viciousness, and prejudice the girls endure certainly leave an indelible impression. Peters's message may be heavy-handed at times, but, overall, this is a well-written and thought-provoking novel.-Robert Gray, East Central Regional Library, Cambridge, MN Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.