If He Had Been with Me
If He Had Been with Me
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Sourcebooks, Inc
Annotation: A love story spanning the history of two teenagers' lives and all the moments when if one little thing had been different, their futures would have been together instead of apart.
Genre: [Love stories]
 
Reviews: 3
Catalog Number: #6616909
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc
Copyright Date: 2019
Edition Date: 2019 Release Date: 11/01/19
Pages: 389 pages
ISBN: 1-7282-0548-4
ISBN 13: 978-1-7282-0548-9
Dewey: Fic
LCCN: 2012041338
Dimensions: 21 cm.
Language: English
Reviews:
ALA Booklist

Finny and Autumn have been inseparable since before birth, when their mothers were best friends, pregnant, and living beside each other. As happens with too many friendships pecially boy-girl friendships ddle school takes its toll. Finny kisses Autumn, but Autumn is not ready for their relationship to change, and so the two part ways to the popular crowd and his girlfriend, Sylvie, and she to the weird but cool group and her boyfriend, Jamie. At weekly dinners, birthdays, and holidays with The Mothers, it's a strained normal, until the summer before college, when Sylvie goes to Europe and Jamie breaks up with Autumn. This sweet, authentic love story depicts complex characters dealing with complex issues: single parents, divorce, only children yet ersatz siblings; high school, college, the pull of the clique; love, friendship, sex, and teen pregnancy. All are recounted through the eyes of budding writer Autumn. First-time author Nowlin keeps the story real and fast paced all the way until the last few devastating, though not unexpected, pages.

Kirkus Reviews

The finely drawn characters capture readers' attention in this debut. Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is "quirky and odd," while Finny is "sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him." But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn's coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations. There's not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn's head. (Fiction. 14 & up)

School Library Journal

Gr 9 Up-Autumn Davis and Phineas Smith grew up together; their mothers are best friends and next-door neighbors. Hand in hand, they experienced life's milestones until adolescence; that's when they grow apart as each one struggles to form an identity outside of their families. Autumn slips to the fringes of the high school hierarchy, while Finny skyrockets to the top. They both find new friends and romantic relationships. Autumn's boyfriend, Jamie, is smart, handsome, and patient enough to nurture her through her bouts with depression. Finny's relationship with his girlfriend, Sylvie, is complex. The heart of this novel is an examination of an unresolved childhood love that is so pure and sweet that it seems too fragile to survive the turbulent years of adolescence. Using tender prose that makes it hard not to care about the main characters, this title chronicles four years of high school and the confusing post-graduation period. At the end, when Nowlin reveals why Finny should have been with Autumn all along, readers are sure to feel the ache of life's capriciousness. Mindy Whipple, West Jordan Library, UT

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School Library Journal
Word Count: 85,929
Reading Level: 4.1
Interest Level: 7-12
Accelerated Reader: reading level: 4.1 / points: 12.0 / quiz: 158094 / grade: Upper Grades
Reading Counts!: reading level:5.2 / points:21.0 / quiz:Q60651
Lexile: HL680L

1

I wasn't with Finny on that August night, but my imagination has burned the scene in my mind so that it feels like a memory.

It was raining, of course, and with his girlfriend, Sylvie Whitehouse, he glided through the rain in the red car his father had given him on his sixteenth birthday. In a few weeks, Finny would be turning nineteen.

They were arguing. No one ever says what they were arguing about. It is, in other people's opinions, not important to the story. What they do not know is that there is another story. The story lurking underneath and in between the facts of the one they can see. What they do not know, the cause of the argument, is crucial to the story of me.

I can see it-the rain-slicked road and the flashing lights of ambulance and police cars cutting through the darkness of night, warning those passing by: catastrophe has struck here, please drive slowly. I see Sylvie sitting sideways out of the back of the policeman's car, her feet drumming on the wet pavement as she talks. I cannot hear her, but I see Sylvie tell them the cause of the argument, and I know, I know, I know, I know. If he had been with me, everything would have been different.

I can see them in the car before the accident-the heavy rain, the world and the pavement as wet and slick as if it had been oiled down for their arrival. They glide through the night, regrettably together, and they argue. Finny is frowning. He is distracted. He is not thinking of the rain or the car or the wet road beneath it. He is thinking of this argument with Sylvie. He is thinking of the cause of the argument, and the car swerves suddenly to the right, startling him out of his thoughts. I imagine that Sylvie screams, and then he overcompensates by turning the wheel too far.

Finny is wearing his seat belt. He is blameless. It is Sylvie who is not. When the impact occurs, she sails through the windshield and out into the night, improbably, miraculously, only suffering minor cuts on her arms and face. Though true, it is hard to imagine, so hard that even I cannot achieve the image. All I can see is the moment afterward, the moment of her weightless suspension in the air, her arms flailing in slow motion, her hair, a bit bloody and now wet with rain, streaming behind her like a mermaid's, her mouth a round O in a scream of panic, the dark wet night surrounding her in perfect silhouette.

Sylvie is suddenly on Earth again. She hits the pavement with a loud smack and is knocked unconscious.

She lies on the pavement, crumpled. Finny is untouched. He breathes heavily, and in shock and wonder, he stares out into the night. This is his moment of weightless suspension. His mind is blank. He feels nothing, he thinks nothing; he exists, perfect and unscathed. He does not even hear the rain.

Stay. I whisper to him. Stay in the car. Stay in this moment.

But of course he never does.



Excerpted from If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

More than ONE MILLION copies sold! A BookTok Viral Sensation #1 New York Times Bestseller A USA TODAY Bestseller An achingly authentic and raw portrait of love, regret, and the life-altering impact of the relationships we hold closest to us, this YA romance bestseller is perfect for fans of Colleen Hoover, Jenny Han, and Lynn Painter. If he had been with me, everything would have been different... Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other. Autumn has her boyfriend Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around. That still doesn't stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together. But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways... Captivating and heartbreaking, If He Had Been with Me is perfect for readers looking for: Contemporary teen romance books Unputdownable & bingeworthy novels Complex emotional YA stories TikTok Books Jenny Han fans Colleen Hoover fans


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