Every Boy's Got One

Travel Diary of
Holly Caputo and Mark Levine
On Their Elopement
Composed by Jane Harris, Witness
aka Maid of Honor
aka Holly's best friend since first grade and
roommate since freshman year at
Parsons School of Design

Dear Holly and Mark,

Surprise!

I know neither one of you would bother to keep a record ofyour elopement, so I've decided to do it for you! This way, whenyou're approaching your twentieth anniversary and your oldestkid has just wrecked the Volvo and your youngest has just comehome from her cushy Westchester private school with head liceand the dog's thrown up all over the living room rug and, Holly,you're asking yourself why you ever moved out of the righteousEast Village pad we shared for so long, and, Mark, you're wishingyou'd stayed in resident housing down at St. Vincents, you canopen this diary and go, "Oh, so THAT's why we got married."

Because you two are the grooviest couple I know, and totallybelong together, and I think eloping to Italy is a BRILLIANTidea, even if you did steal it from Kate Mackenzie inHuman Resources.

The eloping part, I mean. Not the Italy part.

But she HAD to elope. I mean, with in-laws like hers? WhatCHOICE did she have?

But you two are doing it for the pure romance of thething -- not because you HAVE to, because both your familiesare perfectly respectable.

Well, I guess there is that teensy religion thing with yourmoms.

But whatever! They'll get over it.

Anyway, that's what makes your elopement so special.

And I plan to record every detail of that special-ness,starting now, before we even get on the plane. Before I evenmeet you guys at the gate. Which, by the way, where ARE you,anyway? I mean, we were supposed to get here three hours beforeour departure time. You know that, don't you? I mean, itsays that right on the ticket. For international travel, pleasearrive no later than three hours prior to departure time.

So. Where are you guys?

I suppose I could email you on my new BLACKBERRY, but asyou keep reminding me, Holly, it's for WORK PURPOSES ONLY,which is the only reason the IT guys let you have them (thanksfor mine, by the way. I mean, it's nice of Tim and those guys tothink of me, even though I don't exactly work there anymore).

God, I hope nothing happened to you. I mean, on the way.People drive like maniacs on the expressway.

Wait -- you didn't change your minds, did you? About gettingmarried? You can't. That would be awful! Just AWFUL! Imean, you two are so perfect for each other ... not to mention,it would be totally unfair to cancel on me. My first trip toEurope, and my travel companions ditch me? As it is, I can'teven believe I'm really doing it. Why did I wait so long? Whoturns thirty without having been outside the continentalUnited States at least once in her life? No Paris with Frenchclass in the 11th grade. No "Cabo" for Spring Break in college.What's wrong with me, anyway? Why am I such a nontranscontinentalflying freak?

And okay, seriously, what is with the guy with the cellphone over there? I mean, he's cute and everything. But why ishe yelling? We're going to Italy, dude. Italy! So chill.

Okay, ignore the guy on the cell phone. IGNORE THE GUYON THE CELL PHONE. I can't believe I'm wasting the firstpages of your travel diary on him. Who cares about him? I'MGOING TO EUROPE!

I mean, WE'RE going to Europe.

I think. If you two aren't lying in the twisted wreckage ofyour taxi to the airport on the Long Island Expressway.

Let's just assume you were running a little late this morningand that you aren't dead.

Thank God you two are making me do this. You and Mark, Imean, Holly. I'm finally crossing the Atlantic, and for what betterREASON? God, it's so romantic --

(Oh, wait, that's the same guy who was in front of me atthe duty free! The one who was rolling his eyes because Ibought all those bottles of Aquafina. Obviously he hasn't readthis month's Shape. They say air travel is very dehydrating,and that you should drink half your body weight in water duringthe course of your flight if you want to avoid jet lag.)

And okay, they have water on the plane and all, but is itgood water? I mean, as good as Aquafina? Probably not. I sawthis thing on Ask Asa on Channel 4 where they sent the waterfrom a plane to a lab and it was filled with all these microbes! And okay, it was the water from thetap in the plane bathroom, and no onewould really drink that, but still.

Not that MY mom and dadwouldn't kill me if I did what you'redoing, Holly. Elope, I mean. And toITALY, of all places.

But it's just so totally you, Holly. God, you're lucky. Mark is so ... grounded. And Mark, I know I give you a hard time about being such a sci-fi geek and all, but seriously, if I could meet a guy as --

(Oh my God! Cell Phone Guy just practically threw hisphone at one of those little carts with the old people in it! Theone taking them to their gate! And just because the guy drivingit made that backing-up-truck sound to warn him he wasin the way. God, what's got his panties in such a bunch? Althoughhe hardly looks like a panty-wearing type of guy. Jockeys,more likely. Or maybe boxers ...

Every Boy's Got One. Copyright © by Meg Cabot. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Excerpted from Every Boy's Got One by Meg Cabot
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